S.S. Minnow

Living in North Dakota is freezing cold 9 months out of the year. After 9 months of hearing me complain about being stuck in the house my husband suggested we buy a boat and enjoy the short summer. We went on a long search and had a few "discussions" before purchasing the boat. I wanted the pretty, sparkly fiberglass speed boat. He wanted the utilitarian aluminum fishing boat. He won but as he reminds daily. . I have diamonds.

We take the boat out a few times with no incidents, that is until last Sunday. The routine has been for me to stand on the dock holding the rope and when he lets the boat go from the trailer I guide the boat to the dock. This particular Sunday he tells me to sit in the boat while he unhooks it from the trailer. Now I originally object to this saying who is going to hold the rope. He says it will be fine just throw him the rope from the boat. He obviously did not see me try to play softball in 7th grade or he would have known I cant throw worth a damn. So he stands on the dock and I throw the rope and it is not even close to him. By the time I bring the rope back to me I have drifted far enough away from the dock that throwing is not an option.

Here is the critical part to the story- very close to the boat dock is a dam. A very large powerful dam that I am now drifting towards. I start to freak out a little but I have seen him start the boat. I just need to lower the engine, push the throttle forward a little and push the key and turn to start. Nothing. I turn the key and the engine just makes a little noise but doesn't turn over. I try again. Nothing. I am getting more upset and drifting closer to the dam. Luckily we have a second smaller engine called a kicker. I drop that down into the water but this has a pull start- much like a lawn mower. I pull the cord but I am not strong enough to get it started. Now panic has set in. I sit down in the drivers seat and yell back to my husband that I can't do it.

I have given up- the dam is going to suck me in along with the boat. My husband see's that I am no longer of any use and jumps from the dock and swims to my rescue. The boat is a little farther out than he realized and this is not a lake we are allowed to swim due to the dam obviously. He makes it to me and pulls himself on to the boat. He leans over, pulls the cord on the kicker and it starts right up. He looks over to me and is out of breathe and says "Next time throw the damn anchor overboard". Oh yeah the anchor.

He also was able to start the main engine- apparently there is a little button that says "run". Now I know for the future. When re-telling this story to a friend her comment was "So I take it you are the Gilligan on the boat." We have now christened the boat the S.S. Minnow.

Latitude 48° 21’ 19" longitude 99 59 57 West

Latitude and longitude have always given me trouble . I remember my whole family trying to teach me that latitude lines run parallel to the equator. At ten years old I am sure I didn't even grasp what parallel meant but nodded my head and said I understood. So you ask what could possibly be at those coordinates and why are they of any significance. Those are the coordinates to the Geographical Center of North America.

Located in Rugby, ND, which is home to about 2,500 residents, stands a monument for the Geographical Center of North America. The town brochure states "Welcome to the Center of It All". I had high expectations for the site. We had driven over an hour to see the monument and I was hoping for a gift shop, someone peddling blankets with Elvis on them, something, anything. Sadly there was not a gift shop in the vicinity. The monument actually stands in a diner parking lot.

I asked my husband why they would fly a Mexican flag at the site. Apparently latitude & longitude were not my only challenges when it came to geography. It was also pointed out to me that none of the Central American countries were represented with flags, nor was Greenland or the Caribbean countries. Despite the lack of detail I find it hard to make fun of the monument that was built by the local Boy Scout troop.

If you are ever passing through North Dakota I recommend typing in the coordinates to your GPS and enjoy the unique and obviously the one and only geographical center of North America site. Enjoy!

Island Fever

My friend Kelly grew up in Hawaii but now lives in California. One day while we were eating lunch I asked her why she would ever leave gorgeous Hawaii. Her response was simple and just two words- Island Fever. I laughed, I mean how could someone actually get tired of living in paradise. She said you feel trapped and very isolated- you can only go to the same beaches and same restaurants so many time. Minot has become my island and I now understand the meaning of Island Fever.

To the south of Minot the next town is Bismark at 100 miles away, to the east Grand Forks at 211 miles, Williston to the west at 124 miles and to the north. . . Canada. I have eaten at every restaurant in town, gone to the one and only movie theater and have even been to the moose lodge. I have found that besides playing bingo and shooting guns (which I will save for another blog) there is not much to do in this town. So to pass my time I have decided to make my new hobby going to every little bar and hole in the wall they have to offer. What better to do on an island then people watch. This brings me to my first bar of choice- The Lamplighter Lounge. Drive up liquor store in the front and bar and bingo lounge in the back- its pure genius. Wednesday they have $2 pitchers, which for anyone who knows me can be dangerous. Incorporate gambling with alcohol consumption and I can spend hours there.

After a few pitchers of beer and something called pull tabs, which are like scratch off lottery tickets but you pull a tab instead, I was ready to listen to some Motley Crue. So I do my best to walk over to the complicated touch screen jukebox where I am met by 2 college students. Minot is home to Minot State University- home of the lady beavers basketball team. . .insert various jokes here. As I fumble with the touch screen they ask me what I am trying to find and I say some 'Hair Bands'. No lie- she says "is that something you put in your hair" and it could have been the beers but I am pretty sure she was serious. They helped me find Dr. Feelgood and all is right with the world. I maneuver back to my table and I survey the scene. The two guys next to our table have purposely cut the sleeves off of their shirts to revel their half completed tattoos, I take a sip of my beer, rock out to Dr. Feelgood and forget about my island fever for a few minutes.

Why Not My-Not

So here I am, 32 years old and living in Minot, North Dakota. How does one go from living a few blocks from the beach in Santa Monica or living in a penthouse in Philadelphia to Minot, North Dakota? I am an accidental tourists living in a strange land. The motto for my new home town is "Why not My-Not". Now don't get me wrong there is very little crime here, the people are nice and the low cost of living is great but I actually have a list of reasons for why not Minot:

1. People here still write checks for everything- Burger King, Taco Bell, beer, groceries, gas, they even leave a check on the table at a restaurant which includes the tip

2. The cold weather- have you ever had to plug your car into an electrical socket? Well I do. There were days when it was -50 degrees here. . negative fifty degrees! It snowed almost every other day and yet my husband refused to buy a snow blower. He told me I could shovel the snow and workout for free.

3. The next closest town is 2 1/2 hours away and NOTHING else. You might think Gretchen there are other towns and houses you must mean there aren't other large towns close by. No- I drove 4 hours the other day and the only thing I saw were mosquitoes hitting my car and a few cattle.

4. Wal-Mart. This is where i have to buy my clothes, my groceries and home goods- enough said.

5. Did I mention the cold weather. . . .

I am still adjusting to my new life here and at the suggestion of Lauren (see I gave you a shout out now I have to give you royalties) I decided to write a blog. I am about 4 years too late on the whole blog scene- maybe after Twitter jumps the shark I will go on there too.